The man analyzed his pet fish. It seemed to mock him by repetitively bumping its nose, if fish indeed have noses, against the corner of the tank. In retaliation, the man tapped the glass in an equally mocking manner. The fish was not to be deterred in its mission and continued unaffected. Frustrated, the man adjusted the internal thermostat of the tank one degree cooler, just to fuck with the fish’s delicate ecosystem. The fish did not notice.

The man was not happy about recent events, and was generally irritable. He snapped at the woman at the grocery store who inquired about the location of the resealable bags. How the hell should he know where they were? Did he have some appearance of bag-knowledge about him? Doubtful. He looked more like someone who knew about sneaking a few too many free samples. Upon her inquiry, the man grabbed a single can of peaches from the shelf nearest him, waved it in her face, made an obscene gesture, and dropped it on the floor. On reflection, this was not even a clever method of acting like a dick.